2015 NBA PLAYOFFS: TATTOO EDITION

2015 NBA Playoffs: Tattoo Edition

I've combed through every NBA playoff team and selected a player from each roster with the most ferocious, bizarre, or eye-catching ink jobs. Here's a roundup of all the playoff teams' Tattoo Superstar Matchups.

WESTERN CONFERENCE

Golden State Warriors (1) vs New Orleans Pelicans (8)

GSW

Andre Iguodala

NOP

Alexis Ajinca

This matchup is clearly a done-deal. Andre Iguodala has the semblance of a feathery wing on his right arm, which undoubtedly gives him extra lift as he soars for dunks. Meanwhile, Alexis Ajinca has the most adorable tattoo just below his right ear. It's apparently a symbol from the TV show Heroes, meaning "A talent sent from God." It looks like a long, curly ear hair to me.

Winner: GSW ​

Houston Rockets (2) vs Dallas Mavericks (7)

HOU

Terrence Jones

DAL

Monta Ellis

Terrence Jones' tattoos only look cooler considering he has a wicked hairdo. Monta Elis, on the other hand, has a ridiculously large tree growing from his belly button up and around his nipples into a baby's face. What's even more impressive to me, as a Bay Area habitant, is the massive homage to his first NBA team, the Golden State Warriors.

Winner: DAL

Los Angeles Clippers (3) vs San Antonio Spurs (6)

LAC

Matt Barnes

SAS

Tim Duncan

If tattoo sizes indicated talent, Matt Barnes would be a superstar. Most NBA junkies know Matt Barnes is only a bit player that acts as an enforcer when his star teammates get picked on. Tim Duncan, unlike Matt Barnes, IS the real deal superstar. However, in the tattoo playoffs, the biggest, gnarliest tattoos reign supreme... and unfortunately for Timmy, his jester doesn't cut it.

Winner: LAC ​

Portland Trailblazers (4) vs Memphis Grizzlies (5)

POR

Damian Lillard

MEM

Mike Conley

It's very common for gifted athletes to thank God for all their natural and hard-earned talents. Damian Lillard is no exception. He literally has Psalm 37 tattooed on his left arm in a crystal-clear serif font. You'd think his tattoo artist must have thanked God after finishing such a time-consuming piece! Mike Conley's tattoo similarly has religious elements, such as the cross wrapped in a shroud with the words "God's Gift." If you had to judge each player's devoutness based on their tattoos, Damian would clearly be the most pious.

Winner: POR ​

EASTERN CONFERENCE

Atlanta Hawks (1) vs Brooklyn Nets (8)

ATL

Mike Scott

BKN

Deron Williams

Mike Scott is not a household name by any means, but he'd sure as hell become one if everybody caught a glimpse of his sensationally arm tattoos. He literally has Emoji wrapping up his right arm. How friggin' sweet is that?! Now bring in Deron Williams: his ink work is as sloppy as his play. From a distance, his arm appears to be a giant black blob, which is pretty much how Deron looks in a black uniform. Get your conditioning in check, ya bum!

Winner: ATL ​

Cleveland Cavaliers (2) vs Boston Celtics (7)

CLE

J.R. Smith

BOS

Isaiah Thomas

J.R. Smith and Isaiah Thomas are two dudes with an intense amount of ink on their bodies. To the naked eye, it would seem Isaiah has tatted 50% of available skin on his arms. Then you have J.R., who's so inked up it looks like he's suffering from leprosy. Now if you zoom in and scrutinize his work, you'll see J.R. knocks it out of the park. "Just Klownin"–champion material, here!

Winner: CLE

Chicago Bulls (3) vs Milwaukee Bucks (6)

CHI

Derrick Rose

MIL

O.J. Mayo

No offense to the prior MVP Derrick Rose or his tattoo adversary O.J. Mayo, but these guys' tattoos are pretty weak. If there's anything to admire about their ink, it's that Derrick honors his hometown Chicago with a solid piece on his hand. (And for you architecture nerds out there, you'll even catch the structural significance of Derrick's piece.)

Winner: CHI

Toronto Raptors (4) vs Washington Wizards (5)

TOR

James Johnson

WAS

Marcin Gortat

James Johnson and Marcin Gortat are not household names by any means, but a lot of diehard NBA fans will tell you how important these guys are to their respective teams' defensive ratings. Marcin's 6'-11" frame anchors the paint for his Washington Wizards, while a fierce tattoo of his olympic boxer father, Janusz Gortat, anchors his left pec. Johnson, while more of a super sub, plays lockdown defense on opposing offensive stars. Johnson's fierce neck tattoo, which actually spells his son's name, "Naymin," isn't even the scariest thing about him; rather, it's his 2nd degree blackbelt in Kempo!

Winner: TOR

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