TRIFECTA: THREE STORIES / THREE WOMEN / THREE WEEKS
I present to you three short stories of how I met three sexy ladies in three unique settings. The stories have in many ways been embellished for your reading pleasure and color-coded so you may easily follow along. I cannot take entirely all the credit for my success, as reading Lulu’s tips played a huge role in how everything went down.
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For my 30th birthday, I wanted to go “all out.” I initially thought I would host a large MDMA-fueled cuddle puddle to kickstart my sensuals into their newest decade, but instead I kept it real by booking a flight to Barcelona. While in the Very Important Person section at a hip hop tango concert, I caught and locked eyes with an exotic female wearing red sunglasses above her stunningly green eyes. Without skipping a beat, I calmly approached her and asked, “Where did you get those shades?” “Downstairs,” she replied behind a beaming smile. I leaned in and gently slid the sunglasses from her hair. “Oh? What if I hold onto them for a bit, at least while checking out the crowd below?” Without a word, I donned the shades, smiled, and walked off into the night. The only thought that crossed my mind was that she had the looks of a Spanish supermodel and the loveliest accent.
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After returning home to San Francisco from Barcelona, I began to notice two new changes in my mind and body: an insatiable thirst for female sensual attention and a flexed confidence. I demonstrated both only four days back on home soil. While sipping Macallan 12 from a glass tumbler (with one large cube of ice) at a neighborhood bar, I noticed a striking blond dame enter stage left. I could tell this woman carried herself with poise and aplomb. Rather than pay too much attention to her, I shifted my glance towards the bar television, which was televising a game from the NBA Finals. “Bad pass,” a confident voice uttered from behind. When I turned, I was pleasantly surprised to find the attractive blond intently watching the screen. Unbeknownst to her, I am perhaps the biggest NBA statistics nerd out there… and unbeknownst to me, she was ready for a numbers challenge.
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“You’re gonna wish we never met,” she joked before ever meeting me. I found a worthy and sexy adversary on a wildly popular dating app called Tinder. There was something tantalizing about her profile photos and equally alluring about her repartee, both of which made me want more. The two of us physically met at a local bar and immediately felt comfortable around each other, which was evident by the constant and merciless teasing and the ease of judging others while people watching. Her Middle Eastern heritage was evident in her olive colored skin, her thick, wavy hair, and her tough-as-nails attitude. I was immediately reminded of the Hebrew word “sabra,” which relates to a prickly pear: thick skinned on the outside, while soft and sweet on the inside. Needless to say, I wanted a taste.
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While loosely dancing to the rhythmic beats, I felt a soft hand grasp my arm and another hand peel the sunglasses from atop my head. As I spun around, I locked eyes with my Barcelona queen. “I see you found your shades,” I uttered through the widest grin. Instead of verbally responding, she clutched my hand and pulled me further into the throng of club-goers towards the front of the stage. Given the densely crowded space, I squeezed into the woman tightly, which only helped our bump ’n’ grind become saucier. Just two songs into our tango, we locked eyes again and, with the vibrant energy of the music aiding us, proceeded into a kiss. At that moment, I was hers and she was mine.
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“...and that’s why this team will be dominant for years to come,” she concluded. I was stunned at her effervescent knowledge of the game I so adore. It is not often that one comes across another with such similar inclinations and passions, let alone one so attractive and intense. As most adults know, alcohol – when consumed in moderation – is a wonderful social lubricant that reduces inhibitions by acting as a relaxant. In other words, a buzzed person might feel more free to take a chance. That being said, I asked my equal if she would like to skip out to another bar up the street, to which she happily obliged. At the new establishment, the two of us ordered a couple glasses of top-shelf whiskey and meandered to a defunct phone booth that was neatly tucked away into a back corner. We slid inside, sat in an awkward stance, closed the glass door behind, and engaged in the most passionately claustrophobic kissing one could imagine.
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The two of us were immensely enjoying ourselves while people watching all the other bar patrons. “That guy,” she said while pointing to a couple that clearly appeared to be on a first date, “just asked her what her favorite drink is. Don’t you think small talk is awful?” I turned to her and asked tongue-in-cheek, “Well, what is your favorite drink?” She laughed while threatening to pour her beer over my lap, but I noticed the gesture brought her seat a little closer to mine. According to Lulu’s insider “Sexy Tips,” which come from the ladies themselves, body language is a crucial indicator of how one’s date is playing out; this is indicative by seat positioning, which direction your date’s legs are pointing, what they are doing with their hands or arms, and, more importantly, whether they are giving you attention with their eyes. I took an imaginary second to run through Lulu’s “body language checklist” and found that all systems were go. Before long, we finished our drinks and I offered to walk my date home like a true gentleman. I really wanted to take her home and explore her body, but something was telling me to build upon the heat and, assuming I played my cards right, ravage her after our next date. After saying our goodbyes, I leaned in for a kiss and she accepted. Oh–and the next date was magical, just like I had predicted.
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**Thank you Lulu for the dating and sex information. Knowing and understanding a woman’s mind is invaluable and helps clueless boys grow into true gentlemen.
