Long distance relationships never last, except...
Who wants to be a millionaire? I never got the chance to win a million dollars, but I won the heart of Maria Eduarda Lopes sitting in the audience of Who Wants to be a Millionaire with host, Terry Crews.
In Q&A form, here's our story from NYC --> Brazil --> LA --> back to NYC. I invited Maria to share her story as well because we have a slight different perspective on how it all went down. Both perspectives are stories you don't hear to often in or out of the men's room.
Q: HOW DID WE MEET?
KYLE:
I arrived on 32nd street at the end of the line waiting to board the bus to go to a live taping of Who Wants to be a Millionaire in CT. I have gone to these tapings before - it's a fun time when you have nothing to do and looking for a burst of energy. That morning when I got to the end of the line I noticed two fine young ladies in the front of the line, one in particular I fancied. I made a mental note to meet "her" once we arrived in CT.
When we arrived and upon enterting the staging area all the seats were open around this young pretty lady. I headed straight there and found out her name was Maria Eduarda Lopes. She's also a Brazilian fyi! Bonus! But who was this Maria? I instantly connected with her; Maria and I end up laughing our asses off at everything we did, said, and saw.
The show was over, the bus was back in NYC again, and later that night we all were walking to the subway to go our separate ways. I stopped Maria and asked her for her number because I wanted to continue the laughs and hopefully take her home with me. That night, we ended on a Brazilian kiss on the cheak and a text message with Maria's number. I made sure she knew that I was busy until the next week, and I assured her I would reach out and "we would take over this city and have the time of our lives."
MARIA:
I was in the staging area of the TV Show, "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" with a friend and I remember seeing a cute guy in the other side of the room. As any other girl in the planet I turned back to my girlfriend and mentioned how adorable he was. Suddenly, I saw that somehow he made his way over to us. We talked a little bit about us. I said that I was a student in my last semester at FIT and he said that was a producer. But then we headed back to the studio to watch the show.
It was only on the bus on our way back to the city that we had some quality time to talk. He asked me interesting questions like: what was my first memory from my childhood. I confessed that I was a little intrigued by that. I've never had anyone ask this kind of question. By the end of the day he asked me for my number and said that would text me. Unfortunately, he waited a whole week to do that. Ok, I knew that he mentioned that he had a friend visiting him, but I guess that I'm not the only girl who doesn't like to wait for a message, right? Anywhoo... I always bring that up, but I honestly believe that everything happened in the right time for us.
Q: WHAT WAS DATING LIKE?
KYLE:
A week later, October 25th, 2014, we made plans for October 28th. We went to my friend's launch party, dancing in the West Village, wine tasting on the Lower East Side, and the rest was history...
The next day we exchanged one text each saying how much fun we had and we would see each other soon. She headed off to FIT in her last semester for fashion styling, and I headed off to work with a busy week ahead. I had no time during the week. Dustin, my roommate can vouch for that: work, gym, work, cooking dinner, guy/roommate bonding with Dustin and Frank, back to work. During the roommate bonding time and cooking dinner, Dustin and Frank teased me about how she was perfect for me. I had my reservations though; the last time I took thing to quickly they ended very quickly. Plus, I was in no position to get into a relationship at that point in my life: working on getting back my sport mind, body and soul.
MARIA:
We went on our first date and everything went perfect. Then a few weeks later I was watching him make me pancakes...I thought it was the most adorable thing ever. And I gotta tell you...those were delicious pancakes!
We just exchanged a few texts during the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving, we were both so busy, but we had the weekend for each other. He is the type of guys that likes to impress so we went on really cute/funny dates. For example, on our second date we created our own falling star at this Wix event and we dedicated to each other.
Q: HOW DID WE DEAL WITH "THE TALK" BEFORE WE WERE SPLIT?
KYLE:
It wasn't until the next few weekends did we spend some quality time together. We pillow talk'd, laughed, made breakfast, lunch, and dinner together, though just on the weekends. My roommates again were noticing something different that I was oblivious to.
A couple of nights before I was leaving to Los Angeles, Maria brought up "The Talk." FIT was almost at winter break and she was debating on flying back for Thanksgiving through Christmas - 6 weeks! She knew I was leaving before Thanksgiving to spend time in LA and with my mother at home; we'd possibly miss each other when I returned back to NYC. Although, she was growing on me the more time we spent. We had only been dating for almost 4 weeks and when I would leave, that would be 6 weeks without seeing eachother. So, to extend the time just a week longer, I invited her to Thanksgiving in California. She was hesitant and didn't give an answer.
A couple of days later, she spent the last night before I left; she wanted to come over and help me do laundry and pack. We spent many hours together, and "The Talk" came up again. After both of us had an amazing four weeks together we would see how things worked out when we united after the new year. I had to leave the next morning at 3:30am, so that night I walked her to the subway station. She stops and said, "So I guess that's a good bye..." And I simply responded, "Don't say that, how about 'see you later'?" Maria nodded her head, and with tears in her eyes, she gave the warmest hug that chilly November night.
MARIA:
We were hanging out for about a month when my mom bought my ticket to Brazil to spend holidays with my family. While he was going to California to spend Thanksgiving with his mom and friendS, I was going to Brazil for 6 weeks.
After the news I thought that "our thing" was done. How could we survive to that? So I told some of my friends what was going on and that I had to tell him that I wasleaving to Brazil. They all said that he would probably say: "Ok. Very nice meetingyou. Goodbye." I took a deep breath and I said that if we had to be together we would be.
That said, I was so nervous...I remember practicing what to say, saying the same thing over and over in my head and to my friends. I finally told him and instead of saying goodbye he turned back to me and said, "So I guess you gonna have to visit me in California." I couldn't believe that I had heard that. We didn't have the exclusive talk, but he definitely wanted to keep seeing me.
Our last night together we had dinner, I helped him pack, we went to do laundry, and by the end of the day he walked me to the subway station. I turned to him and said: "So I guess that's goodbye." By that time I had tears in my eyes...After all who is good about "goodbyes?!" He made clear that was "...not a goodbye... just a 'see you later'! I still kissed him like that was the last one then we took different paths.
Q: HOW DID WE COMMUNICATE THROUGH THE LONG DISTANCE, EVEN THOUGH WE WEREN'T EXCLUSIVE?
KYLE:
While visiting my friends in LA, Maria and I had not talked for several days. On my last night in LA before heading back to the desert, I surprised her by FaceTiming her. She answered. The conversation was short, but I got to introduce her to old friends and that moment was kinda special to me.
In the morning I drove down to the desert and had some quality time with my mother. We even sent a picture of us to Maria of us cooking our Thanksgiving feast. Over the next couple of weeks our gaps of not talking to each other grew closer and closer. She went to the beach every day with her family and took a photo each time, making me jealous. Her mother and father rebooted their English skills because of the hope that I would come and visit one day. Her brother just started med school. By this time, it felt comforting to know that she is well loved by her family as well as I have that loving connection with my family. We also exchanged video messages and FaceTime'd every now and then to keep the spark alive. But as I began to see this whole other side of her, I began to have stronger feelings with her.
A month after we parted and 2 more long weeks to go my iPhone starts acting up. To make a long story short, I had to leave my phone over night at the Apple Store. But before I left the Apple Store I had to FaceTime Maria for we had been contacting each other every morning and night. The FaceTime that night in the Apple Store was kinda special. You see, I asked one of Apple's Specialist if I could use their FaceTime for a second because I needed to let my "girlfriend" know I would not be reachable. The words "my girlfriend" slipped, but it was the god's honest truth. TIt became clear at that second that's how I wanted things to be. Of course, our FaceTime session at the Apple Store turned into a hour and a half of laughter and telling deep stories. There, that night, we both agreed to take things to the next level and be "exclusive." FaceTime, videos, and pictures is how we kept the fire going in the relationship.
When my mother came into town for the Christmas holidays Maria and I agreed to separate for a little bit as my mother and I would be swamped. We broke that separation by FaceTiming every night. A couple of nights I stayed in my mother's hotel room, which was divided into two rooms, and she posted on FB that it was so great to overhear her son laughing and laughing in the other room with his new girlfriend - there was something there and my mother was excited to see what this relationship would blossum out to be.
MARIA:
Kyle went to California in the next day and I went to Brazil a week later. All that I remember was
sharing pictures on WhatsApp and FaceTiming - we used to spend hours and hours talking on
FaceTime; technology made distance so much closer. I really felt him right by my side.
A few weeks before Christmas he called me "girlfriend" for the first time. I was shocked! I mean.. very happy, but still shocked! I couldn't believe that was actually happening. He went to the Apple Store to leave his phone and he told the store manager that first he had to call his "girlfriend" that was in Brazil. He made it official on Facebook that night on December 21st. That was definitely surreal!
We spent Christmas a part. Every year I celebrate holidays with my family so it couldn't be any different since we have a tradition. Another special moment was on New Year's Eve we called each other at midnight (twice: Brasil time and New York time) and he had our kiss (or "air kiss"... how we call now).
Q: WHAT WAS IT LIKE RECONNECTING AGAIN AFTER SO LONG A PART?
KYLE:
The countdown for Maria to return to NYC seemed to take forever. I think I even quoted Squince in The Sandlot, "For--ev-ER!" My mother was going to have breast cancer surgery at the end of January, I had to move out of my apartment by the end of December and Maria let me stay with her once she got back to NYC for 2 weeks before I had to leave to Palm Springs. This was the best two weeks I have ever had. We picked up right where we left off, and even more harder laughing.
Before long I left for Palm Springs and Maria followed a few days later for an adventure of SoCal. LA --> Santa Barbara --> Palm Springs --> LA. In the car on the last night I expressed how I was falling for her; she said the same thing, but nothing more...
MARIA:
Three days later I was finally flying to New York. I couldn't be more happy to see Kyle standing there at the airport, holding flowers and waiting for me. Of course that I felt like running to his arms, but didn't. We went home, changed our Christmas gift and had the most romantic night. We just couldn't get enough of each other... So we spent the whole weekend together.
The days passed by and our intimacy was just growing and growing... It just felt so right being with him. To date, we have never had a "big fight," like yelling or being disrespectful to each other. If something bothers us we talk it out and find a solution for that special moment. We say that the key for a good relationship is always communication.
By the end of January Kyle went to Palm Desert. He spent a month with his mother because she was going through surgery. So I ended up going to California for the first time to visit them. On my first day we spent our afternoon in Venice Beach and we watched the most beautiful sunset. At night we had dinner with his close friends and then we went to a bar to meet up with more of his friends.
The next day we went to Santa Barbara to spend the day with his dad. We had good food, we laughed hard and we appreciated the sunset one more time. The next day was even bigger. I was going to meet Kyle's mom, Nancy Mengelkamp. I know how much Kyle loves his mom so you guys can imagine how I was feeling...like excited, nervous, and scared all at once. But I was lucky enough to have Ms. Mengelkamp as my mother-in-law. Nancy is always smiling, has a big heart and hosted me with open arms. So I just wanted to thank her for having raised an amazing man. He is a special hat that I intend to keep for years.
Q: HOW WERE THINGS A SECOND TIME AROUND FOR THE LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP?
KYLE:
When she returned back to NYC things were hard. My mom needed 24/7 care from me and a lot of the time I wasn't there to FaceTime with Maria. During the second week post surgery my mother's close friends came to help around the house and I was able to return to NYC. I told Maria February 14th I would be back, just missing our first Valentines Day.
Booked my flight back to NYC, but I arrived a couple days before planned for a surprise. What a surprise. I mean, I was talking to her the whole taxi ride home with flowers in hand. Seconds after we hung up, I knocked on the apartment door and she was flabergasted! Maria has never celebrated Valentines Day on February 14th before, so I sort of combined it with her birthday - a gift to Aire Ancient Bath, which was heaven!
MARIA:
I flew back to New York so Kyle and I spent two weeks apart. Nothing changed, just made me realize that I was totally falling in love with him. Kyle told me that he would be back for Valentine's Day, on February 14th (Saturday). But Suddenly on Thursday, February 12th, he walked through our door with flowers in hand. So that's how he surprised me one more time. I could never forget that night. It was the first time that we said "I love you."
Q: AFTER BEING TOGETHER EVERY SINGLE DAY, HOW WAS THE LIVING CONDITIONS?
KYLE:
Within the next couple of weeks I was supposed to move into an apartment with my buddy, Dustin. But things fell through and I was stuck, but for a good reason it turned out to be. You see, I always said I was not living with my girlfriend until we were commited for at least 2 years. Things change, however, and I am living with her today. We compliment each other, have major chemistry, and a love that still cannot be described. We are busy as hell, and that I believe is what balances us, that and communicating our frustrations when felt at the end of the night so we can have a solution leading into the next day. We feel better, we love eachother more and on a deeper level, and this relationship is flourishing into something more beautiful than I had ever imagined.
MARIA:
After that we had other great moments: traveling, hanging out with our friends or just watching Netflix and eating ice-cream on a Friday night. It's very hard to share our story when I want to include every single detail, but if I do that it will become a novel.
All that I want to say is that falling in love with someone is easy, the trick part is actually loving that person everyday, loving them waking up next to you, loving their flaws or loving their smell. And you, Kyle, make me love every single part of you.
"I want life like this always, with you near me, until the old flame dies out"
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CLOSING:
Maria gave up her career in Brazil as a lawyer to pursue her dream: fashion styling. Through pictures and FaceTime of her room back in Brazil, two things stuck out in my mind: her stuft Disney characters all lined up on her shelf and the huge stack of Marie Claire magazines. Besides being an Instagram / fashion blog celebrity with 8K followers, she is also an intern at Marie Claire. She was born to be in fashion and is set to become a future stylist at Marie Claire. Almost done with FIT and is looking for the next opportunity with Marie Claire, she unfortunately has to leave in June, unless she obtains a work Visa.
If fate has us playing the "long term relationship" again, I believe this is going to be the most difficult "long term" connection yet. To remain positive all we can do is just smile at each other and look forward to the next day we can spend with eachother.
The video at the beginning of the blog I thought was a picture, but it is actually a raw moment of how we really are day to day. This whole post ties back to the video...reminds me of one important lesson: once you love yourself, you can love anybody...wherever...whenever. All you have to do is keep the communitication and laughter alive! And, sometimes you have to be a part from people you love, but that doesn't make you love them any less...sometimes you love them more.
